what I am learning

April 29, 2016 § Leave a comment

I have decided to interpret my fights with my husband in a new way. Instead of seeing them as indicators that our relationship is disintegrating and coming to an end, I have decided to interpret them as developmental events where I am learning what I can do to improve my relationships, not only with him, but also with everyone I interact with. In the past, my interpretation of our fights as ending our relationship caused me a great deal of pain and distress. This new interpretation gives me hope.

In my relationship with my husband tensions build over time. We have known each other for twenty years, we have been married for nine years. We are a bonded pair. We are also both addicts in recovery, so we both brought a significant individual internal condition of developmental neediness to the relationship. Our marriage vows acknowledged this issue. We both promised to seek outside help when we were struggling in our relationship.

I have never objectively charted to the trajectory of our fights.

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