forging new family bonds #recovery

June 29, 2014 § Leave a comment

After our coffee and walk yesterday morning —

Brother4Wife wrote:

I really enjoyed our coffee together.

I replied:

Me too!

Thank you for your kindness and listening. It felt like we forged new bonds and for that I am extremely grateful.

Feeling a sense of belonging in our families is so very important, and so blessedly difficult when we don’t have the words or routines for addressing challenging situations.

It seems counter-intuitive, but when we talk about the things that have hurt us, or disappointed us, or discouraged us, and we can share those experiences with empathic family members, we actually build stronger relationships where the capacity for love and joy are increased. I think the fear in my family is that talking about past trauma or current hurts is going to drive family away. When, in fact, it brings us closer together because we have a deeper understanding of what is affecting us, what we need, and what we can offer each other to show our love and care.

I don’t know any of us that gets through even a day without facing some sort of challenge to our beliefs, interpretations, and conclusions. The more we can talk our way through these things, shedding light on those dark corners where the hairballs collect, the more we can clean them out and unburden our hearts and souls from the weight of carrying them alone.

Love you guys!

and she replied:

Right on!

It feels good to confront the seemingly sacred family taboos about communicating and then finding a kindred spirit just waiting to make the connection.

 

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